Loving Love

The other day was Loving Day.  Did you notice?  Maybe you don't think about it, but it's important to Miss Mox and me.  (It's also Mama Mox's birthday, so it's super important to us...)  On June 12th, 1967, in the case of Mildred and Peter Loving vs. Virginia, the Supreme Court said it was legal for interracial couples to marry.  It had been illegal in more than a dozen states (some of the laws were on the books till 2000, if you can believe that, but were unenforceable.)  When people say that kind of racism was in the ancient past, I wonder just how old they think I am (almost as old as this decision.)  Nowadays it's not a big deal, though we get occasional looks and comments.  Our family and friends are very supportive.  Nationally, things are pretty good, though a church in the south refused to marry a mixed couple last year.  I make a strong connection between IR marriage and gay marriage, but I've written plenty about that elsewhere.  People should be free to marry the person they love.  Your religion, or biases, or hate, should have no impact on how I live my life.  Someone told me "well, I wasn't raised that way, and I won't let my kids do that."  Hm, were you raised by wolves?  And why would you pass that nastiness on to your children?

I saw racism a little growing up, especially on visits to the southern U.S.  As I got older I noticed it more up north too.  Since I was interested in history I read plenty about it, and was always confused by it.  It just seemed, and seems, so pointless, so silly, and so hateful.   I was brought up to treat people as people, as individuals, not to avoid people  or make fun of them because of their race, or religion, or name.

I dated black girls before, and would have dated pretty much anyone- white, black, Mexican, Chinese, whatever.  I was a shy nerd, and only asked a few girls out, and only got a few dates in general; if I'd been more confident I would have asked more women out and dated a veritable United Nations.

I didn't fall in love with Miss Mox because she is black, but I love that about her just as I love all aspects of her.  It's a big part of who she is, but it's not all of her.  I've learned a lot about black culture.  I studied history so I knew a lot intellectually, but seeing things in person is different.

You know, "mixed marriages" have always gotten some pushback.  Catholic and Protestant, Irish and German... There are always people who are opposed.  "Think of the children- they'll have such a hard time bridging the gap!"  Yeah, probably not.  People who protest about that aren't really thinking about the children, they're thinking about themselves and how much trouble they will have behaving like a decent person.  And hey, racially mixed babies tend to be very cute.  They are raised by parents who know about diversity and tolerance.  Some people hate that, because they want everyone to be like them- close-minded and intolerant.

I am amused by the serendipity that lead the Lovings to lead the way on love.  Loving Day has multiple meanings.  Love who you love.  Love who you want.  Don't let little things get in the way, and definitely don't let what other people would think get in the way.