What If You Weren't You?

One of my Facebook friends posted something recently wondering what life might be like if you were raised in a different place, or by different people.  I thought about that for a while, and it gradually meandered through my mind and connected with some other things I had been thinking about.  (I have a lot of time to think at work.  Now if I only had time to write at work...)

There are a lot of ways to approach the concept, of course.  What if you were born in another time, another place?  How would you be different?  How would you look at things?  It's hard to tell with hypothetical situations; we are so wrapped up in our own reality that it can be hard to imagine feeling differently.  I try to put myself in other peoples' shoes, both in my personal relationships and when wondering about history, but can we really know how we would react in different circumstances, in completely unfamiliar situations?  I use my imagination, and have read plenty of alternative history and science fiction.  But it's hard to know how I would deal with stuff I have never encountered.

We are products of our environment to some extent, and of how we are raised.  But that is not our total being.  I have a feeling we would be similar to our current selves in terms of personality, but might be limited by the possibilities in a different environment.  Or, who knows, freed by them.

Since I've been doing some genealogy lately I've imagined what life might have been like for some of my ancestors.  How they would have dealt with the weather, with politics, with moving across the country knowing you would never go home, with losing children and spouses to sickness.

Of course there's always the question, "what era would you like to live in?"  I'd want to live in an interesting one, and, though I'm something of a loner, in or near a city.  I can't imagine being completely alone, with nothing to do except try to survive. Miss Mox says I should have been at Kittyhawk for the Wrights' first flight, and that would be cool.  Pretty brisk at the beach in December, though, even in North Carolina...

This time of year, I think about people missing from my life.  How would I be different if they were still here? I lost my grandparents within a few years a while back; they each left a big hole in my life.  The most recent one was my granddad, and then my dad died a couple of years later, and then my brother.  I miss them- I wish they were here to talk to, to tell about all the stuff that has happened lately.  I'm thankful that my brother got to meet Miss Mox and that they hit it off.  I think my dad and grandparents would like her.  But there's just no way to really describe to her what they were like.  I don't dwell on their losses; sometimes I do get wistful about what things were like with them around.

I'm not sure I would be much different if they were here.  They had already had big impacts on me; and my personality, though still changing, is pretty set.  I don't think they would have pushed me in different directions in life at this point, but it sure would be nice to have their advice, and just use them as sounding boards.

I'm pretty happy where I am in life.  I have plenty of good memories, and lots of things I want to do.  I'm not content, not sitting still, but I'm happy.  I appreciate what I have.  I only have a few regrets- some things I've screwed up, some people I wish I'd been nicer to.  A few I wish I'd let go sooner.  Live and learn.  Try to appreciate who and what you have.  Wonder what life could have been like if things were different, and go out and find out what things can be like in the future.  Remake yourself, if you want.  You can't change the past, though you can learn from it.  But you can change your future.