Who You Gonna Call?

Miss Mox and I were debating the subtleties of '80s music the other day, and I mentioned the Ghostbusters soundtrack.  I haven't seen the new one, but the old one was fun, and I had the soundtrack- there's a lot of good stuff on there.  No, really.  Take a listen.



Ray Parker, Jr.- Ghostbusters theme song.  The title track was a huge hit.  It was everywhere.  I ain't afraid of no ghost.




Laura Branigan- Hot Night.  How much more '80s can you get?




Alessi- Savin' The Day.  Okay, okay, this is even more '80s.




Thompson Twins- In The Name Of Love.  Well, this one is pretty '80s too...




Mick Smiley- Magic.  My favorite song from the soundtrack.

Post-Election Ponderings

Tuesday night Miss Mox asked me "what do I tell our daughter?"  Thankfully, our little sleep stealer can't talk for now, and hopefully barely notices her parents' anger and sadness about the news.  We will do our best to raise her to be a good person, try to be good examples, and one day tell her what can happen when people choose to follow their darker impulses.  These are her learning years, but hopefully not her politically aware years, so in 4 or 8 years there will be someone better to talk about.

I love my country, therefore I am disappointed in it and afraid for it.  I mean, I love my daughter, but I'm not just going to accept it when she does things that are wrong- I'm going to correct her.  I love my country, but I'm not going to just accept it when it does things that are wrong- I'm going to correct it.

What will we become, with a racist scam artist as a leader?  We made it okay to hate again.  Okay to beat up opponents,  persecute anyone different.  What an example to the world, and our children.  The KKK and Russia are thrilled, our allies are nervous.

And I'm nervous, and scared.  That's never happened after an election.  I've been disappointed and angry, but never scared.  It's because of Trump and his followers, not just Republicans in general.   If Rubio or Kasich or almost any of the others had won (except Cruz, he's a dick,) I would have differences of opinion, of policy, with them. I don't think they are hateful people, though. If Romney had won his election, or Dole way back, they wouldn't have been hateful. I would have disagreed with them, opposed them, but not feared for my family and friends. Trump and Pence? Their supporters? They are hateful.  Now they are feeling victorious, and unrestrained.

I worry about my daughter, my wife, my gay friends, my Muslim friends (and others who ignorant people will assume are Muslim, like my American-born friend of Indian heritage.)  I worry about the effects Trump's plans will have on the economy, and on my job specifically: he is against globalization and I work in the auto industry, for a foreign company.  I worry about his hotheadedness, particularly when it comes to foreign affairs and to his propensity to lawsuits and revenge.

I was disappointed, and I am still a bit fearful.  But we'll get through this, and I grew up with Reagan and both Bushes, so I'm used to being in the opposition.  Still... This time is different.  There have already been incidents of harassment across the country; his supporters feel emboldened.  Maybe he will not do (or be able to do) everything he said he would.  Maybe he will learn in office, about restraint and foreign affairs and how the government actually works.  Care to place a bet?

I've been told "get over yourself, he's not going to do all those nasty things."  So... you are saying he is a liar?  That he sold you a bill of goods?  I agree with you there.  I don't think he'll be able to do all the things he wants, but he will sure try with some of them.  And his followers are feeling full of themselves, and think it's okay now to be nasty because, hey, the president is.  To be fair, he has already flip-flopped on some things (remember when that disqualified presidential candidates?)  I see that more as a sign of his ignorance, of him learning about things he never thought about.  Wish that had happened a few years ago.

It will affect our relations to allies, and enemies (and what exactly is Russia, now, since he is such a fan?)  I hope our allies don't give up on us.  They, and we, need to remember that more people actually voted for Hillary.  And because of disenchantment with Hillary, and Republican efforts to suppress the vote, liberal turnout was down.  All in all, that still means most people in the country didn't vote for him, don't think like him, and are decent people. 

I am comforted by little things: watching my daughter figure out how to stand up, doing yard work though I know I am just using that as a distraction.  Comforted by seeing a flag and knowing that America is bigger than Trump, that most people did not vote for him.  We just have to oppose him, and the deplorable people who actually support him.

And I will give him a chance.  A small one. Not really a chance to prove himself; more a chance to prove who he really is.  Any missteps and I will speak up (which means you should expect to hear me often.)  I hope he succeeds, in that I hope the country does better.  Based on his past statements and performance I don't think it will.  Conservatives never gave Obama a chance, and despite their obstruction he made things quite a bit better.  I gave Bush a chance, even when he lost our spyplane, even when he invaded Iraq for no good reason.  I said "well, maybe they know more than we do." They didn't.  They were ignorant liars.   I can't say how long I will give Trump a chance; depends on how many vile things he does.  I give it six months before he does something so foul that even his "reasonable" supporters say "oh, crap, what have we done?", and a year before he gives up/has a "health issue" and turns power over to Pence.  Of course, that is even scarier- Pence is a religious bigot, and more dangerous than Trump because he actually knows how to govern.

Silver linings?  Republicans now have a chance to prove themselves.  And fail, since they're really not good at governing, just opposing.  If Hillary had won, in the same way (if she won the electoral and lost the popular,) imagine the outcry from the deplorables.  So, we were saved that.  They will feel emboldened, but they would have felt angry and cheated.  Comedians have lots to work with. And there are elections in 2 and 4 years.  So, if we make it that long, we're good.  We're Americans.  We're better than Trump.  Let's show ourselves and the world.

What I Did On My Autumn Vacation

I've been off for a week and barely written anything for this blog, so I'd better get busy.  (I haven't had any root beer, either, for one of my other projects, but I'm about to fix that too.)  I originally scheduled this week off for a trip to France.  Miss Mox and I were going to take Baby K over there to see my mom, who goes whenever she has the chance.  I went a few years ago and loved it, and it would have been a great trip, but even driving an hour with the baby- doing anything with the baby- takes so much time and energy that we passed this time.  We then thought about going to Chicago, but again, that's a long trip with an infant.  So, I took the week as a bit more "bonding time," and to do things around the house.

It has been great hanging out with the love of my life, and our love child.  She's the cutest little baby you ever saw (and not just because she looks a lot like me.)  She has her moods, especially when she's tired, but she's generally happy.  We even took her to a Black Lives Matter march, and she did fine.  That was one of the highlights of my time off- that and voting early.  Free speech and participation, important parts of democracy. 

Let's see, we also went to the store, went to IKEA for some shelves and a high chair, and hung out with family.  But most of the time has been spent at home, relaxing with Baby K.  I'm glad I had this time, and I try to make the most of any time at home with her.  Miss Mox is doing most of the work- we are lucky that she can be a stay-at-home mom.  I try to help, and take some of the load off, because as I said doing anything with a baby is tiring.  Spending time with her is worth the exhaustion. 

Dog Gone

We lost a pup this month.  Gabe, Miss Mox's first dog, was getting up there in years and having trouble getting around.  We, and the vet, helped as much as we could, but finally it was time.  That's always a hard decision, but it usually becomes clear eventually.  You never want to lose them, but you have to ask what is best for them, not just for you.  He wasn't in pain that we could tell, but was barely holding on.  It was sad.  And now it's weird to not have him around.  There are still reminders of him, of course.  A bowl on the counter.  Only two dogs barking when we come home.  Baby K never really knew him, but she has three other pets to love and chase.

Over the years I have lost several pets, and it's never easy, but you don't want them to suffer unnecessarily.  When they can't eat, or hold their pee, or stand up... And of course if they are in pain and you can't do anything about it, like one of my cats.  You have to make a decision sometimes, and it's never easy.

Pets are like children to many of us.  Now, having a kid, it does feel a bit different, and I'd be even more distraught if something happened to her.  But before sweet Baby K came into our lives, we were both pet owners and animal lovers, and very attached to them.  They are a big part of your life, and you care about them almost like a child.  And they certainly leave a big hole when they leave.

We will get another dog eventually (or cat- kittens are so darn cute) but for now we are remembering Gabe and appreciating our other animals.  There are a lot of dogs and cats out there that need homes, so think about adopting.  They will repay you with endless love, and lots of laughter.

Land of the Free, Home of the Brave

Remember Jimi Hendrix playing the Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock?  Most people think of that as an amazing piece of music, and protest.  At the time some were offended by it- how dare he?  How dare he use that symbol of our country to point out that our country was doing some messed-up shit?  Now it seems obvious that things were messed up, and that he was making a very strong point.

Now Colin Kaepernick, along with more and more other players, is sitting or kneeling during the anthem to protest police violence.  Some people are offended, of course: the ones to whom symbols of freedom are more important than the actual freedoms.  They care more about obedience than about people, more about appearances than reality.   If you are more concerned with someone kneeling during a song than someone dying with their hands in the air, that says a lot about you.

So, there's a lot of "I'm offended because you are protesting," essentially.  And there are a lot of people who truly do not believe there is a problem, so they don't think any protest is justified.  A lot of the "serious" discussion I see online pushing back against Black Lives Matter (ignoring the raging idiotic racism, the name-calling, etc.,) boils down to "blacks don't have it so bad," "do what the cop says," and "this is not a problem- blacks are violent and so cops kill them."  Of course, two of those are blatantly racist, and the third, "comply," is often implicitly racist.  Even when people comply, they sometimes get killed, and the apologists will find ways to justify that too.

What about Philando Castile?  Complying, peaceful.  Still dead.  He had a concealed carry permit, and told the officer, and was shot when he followed orders to get his registration.  Listen, anyone with a CCW should be concerned about that one.  If you tell the cop, and he gets more nervous, and scared, and pops you when you make the slightest move, what good does that gun do you?  And what good does following the rules do you?

And then there are the "all lives matter" people.  All lives matter.  They do.  Except that they don't all matter, not to some people.  If I hear you say "all lives matter" when someone says "black lives matter," what I hear is "no, they don't.  Black lives don't matter.  Not to me."

It should bother you that American citizens are being treated this way, no matter what color they are.  If it doesn't, and you can't even bring yourself to express sympathy for them before you jump in with why they deserved it, tells me a lot about you.  The fact that you say nothing about that, that you won't admit cops can be racist, or even just make mistakes, tells me what you think.  You don't see it going on?  You don't want to.  You pretend not to.

I grew up in Ohio, and saw racism.  I've been to the South and seen it.  I know I can drive out in the country around here and see plenty of Trump signs, and Confederate flags, so don't tell me racism isn't real.

Miss Mox, my wife, is black.  Our daughter is black.  Half my extended family is black.  Hell, some days when I have a tan people wonder if I'm black.  One of Miss Mox's coworkers thought she was cheating on me.  "I thought your husband was white."  "Yeah."  "Well, then who was that black guy I saw you kissing in the parking lot at lunch?"  "Uh, that's him."  I worry about them.  I even worry about me. 

I have plenty of sympathy for police; I think most people do.  They have a hard job, an occasionally dangerous one, and probably don't get thanked nearly enough.  They did sign up for it though, so part of me just wants to say "kwitcherbitchin."  I thought about being a cop, briefly; what turned me off was seeing all the other candidates, many fresh out of the academy and eager to kick ass.  Service to the community was not at the top of their list; beating up "bad guys" was.  Not all cops are like that, but there is certainly a large minority that wants to be tough, wants to be seen as tough, wants respect whether they earn it or not.

Most cops, though, are good people, and good cops.  They have to deal with a lot of assholes.  However, that doesn't negate the existence of corrupt cops, biased cops, and just normal people making mistakes.  Racial bias can be almost invisible sometimes, at least to some.  Just because someone isn't shouting slurs doesn't mean they're not racist; just because someone consciously treats everyone the same doesn't mean they don't have subconscious biases.

More and more we see video of unarmed, unaggressive people getting killed.  It happened before, it's just more visible now.  And still there are apologists.  "He raised his hands too late."  "He had a record."  "He had a taillight out and ran."  None of that deserves the death penalty.  And certainly none deserves it without trial.  You know what they call this kind of killing when it happens in other countries?  "Extrajudicial killings."  It's what we see in corrupt countries like Brazil, and the Phillipines.  It's what we complain about when we see it there- how awful it is that cops take justice into their own hands.  Hm.

The feeling seems to be "if he has a gun, he deserves to die." Even though there are plenty of instances of violent white people being taken alive, even if they shoot at cops, even if they killed people.  But with a black guy, to some people even if he's telling you he can't breathe, he deserves to die.  Playing in the park, deserves to die.  Maybe he has a BB gun and it might be real.  You can't use the loudspeaker in the car, figure out what's going on from a distance?  No, you have to speed up to him and kill him, like Tamir Rice.  Or shoot another little kid, Tyre King, in the back.  And when the cop has a record of bad judgment, of racism, of killings?  Do you hold that against him?  The cop's life is more important than the kid's, even though they're sworn to protect?

If you say "crime is so much worse in black neighborhoods than white neighborhoods," ask yourself why we have black and white neighborhoods.  Why are they still so segregated?  If your answer is "they want to live that way," smack yourself in the face and then do some historical research.

We need to talk about this.  Some of us need to admit it is happening, first of all.  Then we can start to have an honest discussion.  Pretending problems don't exist, not talking about them, does not make them go away.  We need to figure this out.  It won't be easy.  It is going to be much harder if so many of us keep sticking our heads in the sand, and if people keep dying.

On The Road

Took a little roadtrip this weekend with an old friend.  We've known each other about 20 years, and though we don't get to hang out often it is always fun when we do. 

He got to hang out with Baby K., of course.  Miss Mox convoyed with us to a Mexican place for lunch, where all the other customers loved Baby K.  Then my friend and I headed off to the root beer bar a few towns over.  Sipped a cold one, got some for the road, then hit the highway.  Or, in this case, the back road.  GPS told us it was the quickest route, and it certainly was the most direct.  It looked straight on the map, but in reality was twists and turns and hills and trailers on hillsides.  And around one curve, an Amish kid driving a cart, with his dad standing up in back.  Mailboxes mounted on cinder blocks.  Finally, we reached civilization: little towns with gas stations.  Then back on a highway, and off again to go to another small town.

Our destination there was a small theater, Stuart's Opera House, to see Southern Culture on the Skids, one of my favorite bands. When we pulled up, the façade was hidden behind scaffolding and there was no sign that it was open.  Did we have the right place?  The right date?  Yes, it turned out.  Inside (in strong AC, thankfully,) we found a beautiful 130 year old theater.  It is run as a nonprofit, and has been restored but also modernized.  It was a great place to see a show, acoustically and in terms of comfort.  SCOTS has been around awhile, too, and they put on a helluva show.  A different experience from the last time we saw them, in a crowded campus bar.  The crowd was different too.  Older (which is saying something, considering my age.)  But still energetic- even the old bald guy with the cane was dancing in his seat, and stood up for an ovation.

We saw ads for the Backwoods Festival, which sounds a little scary.  Also the pawpaw festival, which we took to calling Pawpawpalooza.  We heard about a bluegrass band called Mandolin Orange.  We talked about work and kids and music and beer.

The D-Rays opened, a local band doing instrumental surf tunes.  Good, but SCOTS were an order of magnitude better.  Their music is hard to categorize.  It could be called country rock, but that is too broad.  I call is surfabilly.  Some country covers, lots of goofy original songs, all played with verve by a tight three-piece ensemble.  How many bands do you know who reference Game of Thrones, demolition derbies, Mexican wrestling, Little Debbie snack cakes, and Link Wray's diet?

The drive back was more relaxing, on the highway in the dark, tired after a long day.  I don't know when we'll get together again, but it will probably involve music, and laughter.

The D-Rays:



Southern Culture on the Skids:

Map Test Page

Hi folks,

This isn't a typical post.  It is a test page so I can figure out how to get maps on here, and make them for other projects.  It might be updated occasionally, and might even turn into a FAQ or tutorial, depending on how much I learn.

We'll start with a map of the places Miss Mox, Kenzie, and I ate on our most recent trip.  It was a multiculti experience, with pizza, kolache, bar food, standard American breakfast fare, and Lebanese food (the last two at the same place!)


Google Maps plain link- Francis Family Restaurant







Restaurants on map

What I Did On Summer Vacation

First off, I didn't have a whole lot of vacation days.  I did enjoy the summer, and had a few days off, and could use some more.

I spent as much time with Baby K. and Miss Mox as I could.  We took a few little trips so she could meet family, and of course everyone loves her- even random grandmas at groceries and rest stops.  I am learning how to be a dad, and it is hard.  I need more free time, and more sleep.   Miss Mox needs it even more, since she is here with the baby while I'm at work.  She is a very good mom, and Baby K. loves her.  Maybe just because she is a food source, but still...

I can't imagine having more than one kid.   One baby to two adults is a good ratio; actually, even that is overwhelming.  Mama Mox, my mother-in-law, has a bunch of kids in the house and I am amazed at her stamina and patience.  She is so happy that school has started, though... 

Ate a lot of good food, went to museums, went to a Dead show.  I have some other writing projects, and I tried to plug away at them.  We have a smaller garden this year and we've tried to stay on top of that, but it has been super hot all summer.  Not just hot spells with breaks- hot all the time.  Since I work nights I am struggling to get up and outside before 10am to get yard work done.  We are enjoying the fruits, or rather vegetables, of our labor: tomatoes, cukes, hot peppers, etc.

We've had a good summer.  We're looking forward to the fall for the weather, and to get some projects done.  Baby K. is getting ready to crawl, and teethe, and start solid food.  Just when we start to figure out how to do things, everything will change.  I'm glad to have Miss Mox by my side (really, leading.)  She is an amazing person.  We are trying to raise an awesome kid.  Looking forward to where life takes us...

Take Time To Make Time, Make Time To Be There

I just took some time off work to spend with my daughter- they call it bonding time.  Not nearly enough, since I don't get paid for it, but some.  I love being with her, and my wife, and I take advantage of every chance I have.  I love the weekends, so we can hang out all day.  I like my job, but on workdays I don't see nearly enough of her.  I do not want to be that dad who is gone all the time.  Yes, we all need to work, and it provides what we need- what she needs- but there has to be a balance.

We lazed around, laughed, changed disgusting diapers, napped.  My mom came to see her for a few days, and we took her to meet other family members.  She is so cute, and fun.  I can't wait till she talks, and starts exploring the world.  I am eager to find out what she is interested in.

Listen- take the time to be with the people you love.  Slow down when you can.  Do interesting things, or nothing at all, together.  Enjoy the little things, the fleeting moments, the goofy laughs.  Spend time with your kids.  Spend time with your spouse, or partner, or friends.  Life is in the living.  These little moments... Years from now we will have pictures, sure, but we will also have memories.  Take time to enjoy the little things that will become memories, not just the big trips, etc.  And make sure you have some time at home to allow for them, and don't spend all your time at work.  Work can be exciting and fulfilling, but so is watching your daughter try to crawl.

Opinions Are Like... Well, Not Like Facts

There are so many grey areas in this world, in life, in history, in politics.  So many things that are fuzzy, open to interpretation, that we can respectfully disagree about.

But there is also right and wrong- morally, and practically.  The sky is blue.  If it looks green to you, well, I can't get inside your head, but it's still blue out here, and not just to me.  2+2 equals 4, regardless of your opinions about the issue.   In some cases, differing opinions should not have equal weight, or equal time.

Vaccinating your kids is not something that is open to debate.  Vaccinations are good for your kids, and for society.  Yes, there are extremely small risks, far outweighed by the risk of diseases they prevent.  The reality is, there is no reason not to vaccinate, and very strong reasons to do so.

Whether the earth is round is not open for debate.  It is demonstrably so, and the issue has been settled for decades.  Evolution works.  That's provable, and settled.  "I don't believe it!"  Well, you don't have to believe it, but it still works...

Whether Trump is an asshole who is unqualified, in experience and temperament, to be president is not open to debate.  It should be obvious to anyone.  It is provable, with facts.  Just because you disagree with those facts does not make you right, and does not make your opinion equally valid.


Here are some things people say about Trump:

He's a racist
He's an anti-vaxxer
The KKK and Nazis are big fans of him.
He is unstable.
He has no relevant experience.
He is a bad businessman.
He is a blowhard.


These are truths.  These aren't opinions.  These are facts.  I can back them up; you and I can research them.


Here are some things people say about Clinton:

She's a liar.
She got people killed at Benghazi. 
She killed Vince Foster.
She is unstable.
She has no experience.

These are mostly false.  Most are made up, or at the least disputable.

You can disagree with her on policy; you can't disagree with Trump on it because he doesn't have much, and the little he has changes every day.

You don't like her?  Fine.  But most of the accusations against her are false. Trump is a loud asshole. That is true, not an opinion. If that is what you like about him, admit it.  I will think much less of you, but at least you will be honest. 

Accentuate the Positive

I don't have a problem with being negative.  Now, I am positive in most parts of my life.  I get along with most people; I try to appreciate the good in them, and in things that happen.  I have a lot to appreciate and be thankful for.  I try to make sure to point out the positive.  From stopping to smell the roses, to bigger things in life and the world.

Like America- there is lots of good in it.  But in conversation, and on here, I often point out the negative in politics, history, etc.  If you don't want to talk about the negative, if you want to sweep things under the rug, then you are not really talking about reality.  If you want to ignore things... Well, then, I am not on your side. I want to talk about it.  People say things like "slavery was a long time ago- why talk about it?"  Because its effects are still being felt, and we need to understand what happened in order to understand what is happening.  If you say things like that, you obviously don't understand much about it, so we definitely need to talk about it.   If there are problems in your town, your relationship, your business, you need to talk about them in order to make things better.  If you ignore bad things they create more problems later on.

South Africa had a "truth commission," where stories came out and the public learned, and was able to move on.  We never had that, and many people wanted to sweep the past under the rug.  And now, we have generations who are ignorant of history, and not only don't want to talk about bad things, but will vociferously insist that they do not exist, and never have.  

Plenty of Republicans nowadays want to "make America great again."  It's hard to figure out when, exactly, they want to take us back to, but the '50s seem to be a common time, when they think things were great.  There was a lot of good stuff going on then, but there was also a lot of bad.  I think people tend to think of their childhoods as "the golden age," and a lot of conservatives now must have grown up then, like Trump, thinking things were good for them so they must have been for everyone else.  Yes, the '50s, when you could beat up protestors, and call people before Congress for being "un-American."  Such pleasant times.

A lot of reality is negative.  There's positive too, and we need to build it up.  But we can't ignore the negative, because ignoring it doesn't make it go away.  Talk about it, learn from it, move forward and make things better.

One-ders

XM radio recently had a temporary channel for one-hit wonders.  I enjoyed listening to it; some songs were very familiar, some not so much.  I was surprised that some of these bands only had one hit.  These songs were very big for a short time; a few have stuck in the hearts and minds of many of us.  Maybe just because they're catchy, maybe because they are very evocative of their particular time, we remember them.


Trio- Da Da Da

A weird little song that keeps popping up in movies and commercials.  Catchy, simple, and- German?  Yep.




Shocking Blue- Venus

The band was a one-hit wonder, but the song came back to life with Bananarama.




Digital Underground- Humpty Dance

Yeah, this one pops up once in awhile, and is very much of its time.




Deee-Lite- Groove Is In The Heart

I loved this one when it came out, and bought the CD- probably one of my first CDs.

Paper For The Puppies

I have a long and troubled history with our local paper, the Columbus Dispatch.  When I moved to town there were two papers; the other one was the Citizen-Journal, and it was a better paper than the Disgrace, er, Dispatch.  Of course, the Dispatch eventually bought them out; the upside was many of the writers stayed on, so we had a few years of a decent Dispatch, until they retired.  The family that owns it also owns local radio and TV stations, which are doing well.  The Dispatch, along with many papers, is not. They have taken over local alternative papers and magazines, generally more liberal and definitely way better at investigative journalism, and either folded them or turned them into weekend "music and food" papers.

Working at the airport I got to read papers from all over the country, and loved that.  The Washington, New York, Chicago, Boston, even Cleveland papers were so much better written, and had far more interesting stories.  When I first moved into my own apartment, the manager offered me a discount on the Dispatch.  "No thanks."  "Why not?  It's a great deal."  "Because it's a crappy paper."  She was stunned into silence.  It's not a good paper- local coverage is spotty, they don't have many good writers, and it is too conservative for my tastes.  (A guy at work once called it a liberal rag, which just shows how batshit-crazy conservative he is.)  It is not far-right, but definitely right of center, based on who they endorse and on their editorials.

Over the years I have subscribed off and on, since it was the only local paper and I do like reading a paper (this was before the Internet, when we held paper in our hands to read.)  Lately Miss Mox and I have subscribed so that we can get the coupons, and for paper to put down for the dogs when we are gone for awhile.  The quality has gone down, the size has gone down, the price has gone up.  They have cut back on actual journalism, buying more from the AP, etc.  It has never been good, especially compared to other papers, and it has just gotten worse. 

I've always loved reading the paper.  Something to hold and unfold; different sections for different interests; saving the comics and maybe the opinion section for last.  The industry as a whole is in serious trouble, with the web taking over our news even more than TV did.  I generally get my news online, and from the radio.  I barely read the paper anymore; if we had a good one I might read it more, but still, everything in it is a day or two old.  I can get in-depth coverage, of any topic I'm interested in, wherever I go and whenever I want.  So, I'm part of the problem.  But I feel no regret about the Dispatch being in decline, and will not miss it.  They deserve what they get.

And yet, for a mediocre paper, they are very full of themselves.  They don't seem to care that people aren't as interested in their content; they cut what people like and then are shocked that sales decrease; and they seem as shocked as my apartment manager when people tell them they are crappy.  Their sales tactics, in person and on the phone, are very pushy.  They will call and say "Is this your name?  Is this your address?"  Yup.  "Okay, we'll start the subscription tomorrow."  Uh, no, I didn't agree to that.

We've had service issues over the years, and had to call, repeatedly, and threaten to cancel.  Most recently we realized the cost of the paper was about the same as the value we were getting from the coupons (and we really weren't reading the rest of it,) so I called to cancel.  When they asked why, I told them.  In detail.  They were stunned.  "But, it's the only paper with Columbus in the name."  'Yep, because you shut down the other ones.'  "I don't know what to say to that."  'Say thank you and goodbye!'  "What if next week's paper is amazing?"  'I'll read it at work.'  "What if there is urgent news?"  'I'll read it online, hear it on the radio, watch it on TV, long before you print it.'  They already had us at their lowest rate (and it's still not worth it...)  They can't play up their in-depth local and national reporting, because they have cut those back so much.  "Okay, well, if you're sure, we'll cancel it.  You do owe us for the last two weeks, when we've been delivering it in case you still wanted it."  'Seriously?  You want me to pay for your decision to try to get me to resubscribe?'  I had to restrain myself at that point.  And no, I did not pay.

They called me a few days later- "We miss you already!"  Yeah, well, I don't miss you.  I picked up a copy at work the other day, skimmed through it, and reassured myself that I'm not missing anything.  I hate to see local papers go away, but bad ones will not be missed.

Motherly Love

Today is Mother's Day, and you should call your mom.  Seriously, right now, before you forget.  Tell her you love her and you appreciate everything she did for you (and still does) and that you're sorry for all the stupid and disrespectful stuff you did.

I'll wait.






Okay, good.  Wasn't that nice?  I bet she was happy.  Oh, and give her flowers, or something else she likes.  It might seem tacky and commercialized, but she'll still appreciate it.

Today is Miss Mox's first Mother's Day.  I don't think either of us expected we'd ever be parents.  We are slowly figuring out how the heck to raise a kid, and she has to do most of that while I'm at work.  I do what I can, but it's not nearly enough.  The best thing I can give her today, or any day, is a nap.  I hope she gets one.  I'm sure we'll be over at Mama Mox's house for awhile, and I'll talk to my mom on the phone.  She's at the beach, her favorite place besides Paris.

I gave Miss Mox something little that I hope she'll like, and a card.  Flowers are out, because our cat likes to rearrange them.  He also likes to hide in the closet, so...

My sweetheart is already a good mom, and I love her more and more.  And Lychee is growing like a weed, and definitely knows who Mommy is. 

"I'll Never Vote For Her"

Well, it seems like Bernie finally realizes there's no way he can win the nomination.  It was clear to most of us months ago.  A lot of his supporters will probably ignore the math, and some have said they absolutely will not vote for Hillary.

I kind of understand the appeal of "I won't vote for her."  I have voted for third party candidates before, who had no chance of winning.  Usually not in close elections, or ones as important as this one, but I understand the idealism.  Sometimes you really don't like the major candidates.  This happens every election, though.  Kucinich, Nader, whoever- what has your vote for them brought us?  Has it changed the system?  Has it really pushed the candidates one way or another?  Or did it, for example, bring us W?

Sometimes you have to pick the best option, not the perfect one.  No candidate is going to match you perfectly.  It's going to come down to a choice between two people who you may not like much, or at all.  Life is about choices.  You don't always get unlimited options, with one that is exactly what you want.  Sometimes you get a couple of crappy options- or a dozen crappy ones.  Then, you still have to decide on one.  If you decide not to pick, you still get stuck with something.  That's how life works.  So, sometimes you have to pick the least bad option, the lesser of two evils.  It's still better than the more evil option.   Honestly, what I hear right now is a lot of children, saying "If I can't get what I want, I'm going to sit here and pout."

As for me, if it's Bernie I will vote for him.  He's far better than any of the Republicans.  And if Hillary supporters refuse to vote for him, I will be pissed at them too, for the same reason- their lack of support could bring us a President Trump.

If you hate Hillary so much that you will never vote for her...  Well, knowing what we know about Donnie, if you don't hate him even more, I am appalled at your judgment.  The vehemence I have heard from Bernie supporters saying "I'd never vote for her.  I'd rather have Trump," sickens me.  If you'd rather have Trump, then you're an asshole.  If you'd rather do that to the country, you're an awful person.

I haven't heard the same comments from Hillary supporters.  They say "well, if Bernie gets the nomination I will vote for him."  They mean it- they know he is better than Trump or Cruz.  And I think I know why Bernie supporters are so upset about this- it's because they know he is going to lose.

You know why this really matters?  You know what the reverse of the Bernie/Hillary thing is?  I know lots of conservatives who can't stand Trump, and if he is the nominee they won't vote for him.  And I hope they don't.  Because that helps whoever the Democratic nominee is win.  That's how elections work.

Why On Earth Would Anyone Vote For Trump?

I'm still trying to understand Trump's appeal.  I mean, I guess for some people it's "Yeah, he's as big an asshole as I am!  We have so much in common!  I'm a racist scam artist too!"

I hear from seemingly-rational Republicans that the main draw is anger about the economy.  But "I'm angry that I lost my job, therefore I'm going to elect a lying bigot"?  The trade-off doesn't seem good to me.  Besides, it's not like Trump will be good for the economy.  Has being bigoted been good economically for Indiana?  How about what is going on in North Carolina right now?  Businesses know that looking racist or homophobic is not good for the bottom line.   Building walls and putting up trade barriers are two more iffy economic ideas- generally, isolationism and protectionism are not good for the economy.  And in terms of his personal experience... Well, he has made a lot of money.  But then he started off with a lot, and has under-performed the stock market, so maybe he is not all that great a moneymaker.  Plus he has bankrupted dozens of his own companies, and thousands of people.  I don't think of him as a good businessman; I think of him as a scam artist who started off rich and has gotten a little richer.

Why do I keep harping on Trump?  Why is it so important to me to have decent people running the country?  Well, I'm about to be a dad, and I want the country to be a better place.  I see a lot of nasty shit going on in the world.  I want my country to live up to its ideals, to be tolerant, to work for a brighter future.  I want to be optimistic.  Sometimes that means calling out the assholes, and working to make the world a better place by opposing those who would tear people down.  We can't ignore the bad; we have to deal with it.  That's been my philosophy anyway, but now I have someone to make the world better for.

Things I Don't Understand

--Why people think calling out police misconduct is somehow a damnation of all police. Most cops are good. Those who aren't should not be protected and coddled.  And if you are a cop and are rationalizing bad behavior, well, you're not a good cop anymore...  Seriously: you think protesting police brutality is the same as condemning all police?  Really?  Plenty of police killings are not protested.  It's when they shoot kids, kill someone who is unarmed, demonstrate clear racism- then there are protests, and they should be held accountable.

--Why people think building a wall on the border with Mexico is a good idea.  The history of walls (China, Berlin, Israel) is not good.  They don't work.  They are expensive and easy to defeat.  It's just another simplistic approach to a complex problem that makes a good soundbite (if you don't think about it too much.)

--Why ranchers think they are owed subsidized grazing. And that seizing government buildings and threatening violence is a way to prove their case. You look like a moron, with your conspiracy theories and shoddy understanding of the Constitution.  And I really hope you have to pay for all the damage you did to the refuge, and spend some time in jail to think about what an idiot you've been.

--Why some people think that theocracy would be a good idea for America.  It'd have to be their specific brand of their religion, of course.  I don't see how people don't see that that is un-American.

--Why some ignoramuses think a guy who doesn't understand the middle class or the poor is going to make us great again.  He knows nothing about us.  Or about much of anything, except how to make himself rich while bankrupting others.

--Why people think evolution and religion are opposites. They only are if you want them to be.

And that is the key to misunderstandings of Black Lives Matter, and to so many other ridiculous beliefs- deep down, you want them to be problems. You make them one.  You imagine that asking for fair treatment is the same as hating you.   You're creating conflict.  The Oregon standoff, evolution vs. religion; on so many issues, people want there to be conflicts where there aren't.  (Of course, there's a lot more going on in each of those situations, but bear with me.)

It's a cognitive dysfunction, common to people in general but very common among conservatives.  People contort and conflate things.    There is only conflict if you want it.  And why do you want it?  I question your motives- why are you not thinking clearly, or pretending to not think clearly?  If you find talking about race, or even mentioning inequality, divisive, then you have issues.  Apparently it makes you uncomfortable.  Ask yourself why.   We need to talk about, and fix, problems, not ignore them.  South Africa had a truth commission; maybe we need to do that.  Yes, talking about these things brings up bad feelings.  Why?  Because there is shit going wrong!

We live in a connected world, where essentially all information is online, and readily available.  And it is how you look for data, and interpret it, that matters.  You might have all the weather data in the world, but you still need to look at the sky and connect it to reality.  See what's around you.  You can look at someone's interpretation, or look at the raw facts and make your own conclusions, or combine the two.  Doesn't mean you will always be right, but you do the best with the info you have.    If you are pulling bad data (listening to Fox, or Rush or Glenn, or pretty much any conservative news source,) and if you are delusional/ dysfunctional in interpreting that data, you are going to come up with false conclusions.  Often repulsive conclusions, that have little to do with reality.  Even if you have good data you can draw bad conclusions.  If you start with bad data, you are almost certain to.

Pros and Cons

Lychee is almost here.  Obviously I am thinking a lot about being a parent.


I am looking forward to:

-The chance that she'll join the Girl Scouts.  A direct cookie connection!  On the other hand, having boxes stacked in the house might not be a good thing...

-Reading to her.  We already do it a little, and I'm sure I'll need some hard candy to keep my throat from drying out, but Miss Mox and I will read to her a lot.  Hopefully she is as into reading as we are.

-Her being potty trained.  I know it is a couple of years away, but it can't come soon enough.  And that's before I've had to deal with diapers...

-Taking her to try strange and interesting food.  Miss Mox will bail, but I love trying new things and hope Lychee wants to join me.

-Figuring out her interests.  We will provide as many experiences as we can, and help her figure out what she likes.  Sports?  Music?  History?  Cooking?  All of the above and more?


Not looking forward to

-Diapers and puke.

-Not being able to keep up with her.  My back and my stamina are not kidlike. 

-Her dating.  At all.  Boys or girls, nice or not, it will be a challenge for us and her suitors.

Who's Left?

Bernie Sanders has had a good run.  The last few weeks he has picked up a few delegates, and his supporters are all excited about the next few states.  Even if he wins them, though, he will be way behind Hillary.  He should drop out.  He had his chance, and did surprisingly well but not good enough to win the nomination. 

Rubio is out; other Republicans will be out soon.  It's going to come down to Trump vs. Clinton.  Trump was a surprise to the Republicans, and he is threatening to take over the party.  They created him, of course.  Now most of them are afraid of the monster they unleased, though some are jumping on the bandwagon.  He represents the ignorant, bigoted wing of the GOP- in other words, most of it.  They say they're not that way, but they are. How do I know this?  Because so many Republicans will end up voting for him.  Why?  "Well, at least he's not Hillary."  I know she is a typical politician, but I don't understand why they hate her so much that they are willing to elect a bigot. 

"She lied!"  Well, she's a politician, that's part of the job description.  And Trump lies in every speech he makes, and most Reps aren't bothered by it.  So that's off the table. So, now tell me why you don't like her.  Tell me why you want a reality star, a sleazy scam artist, a habitual self-promoter.  Tell me why you think he is more qualified to be president.  I am very disappointed in any remaining supposedly-rational conservatives who would support him.

Some Sanders supporters say they will never vote for Clinton.  If they enable Trump to win by not voting, or by writing in a candidate who has no hope of winning, part of the blame for whatever Trump does will be theirs.  Similarly, if any Clinton supporters refuse to vote for Sanders in the fall if he somehow gets the nomination, they share the blame too.  Look, I am not a fan of Hillary.  There is plenty I disagree with her about.  However, if she wins the nomination I will vote for her.  If Bernie wins, I will vote for him.  Why?  Because either of them is better than Trump (or any of the Republicans this time around.)  You don't like her?  Fine.  Suck it up, and vote against Trump.  Listen, we don't always have perfect candidates.  Actually, we never do.  Run yourself if you think you can do a better job.  We have the candidates we have.  That's the real world.  Sometimes you go into a restaurant and have a surfeit of good choices.  It's hard to narrow things down.  In politics, it's usually the opposite: there are no good choices, just too many bad ones.  You have to choose the least bad option, not the super awesome one.   That's called reality.

I think the fact that so many Sanders supporters are saying they won't vote for Clinton is a subconscious acknowledgement that they think she will win the nomination...  I don't hear
Clinton supporters saying they refuse to vote for Sanders in the general election, possibly for the same reason.   I wish we had someone else running, but I will vote for anyone who has a chance to beat Trump.

Decisions, Decisions

If you are having a hard time deciding between Trump and Clinton, you need to do some self-evaluation. A lot of people don't like Hillary.   I disagree with her on a lot of things.  Fewer than with Trump, though.   I don't much like her, but I like him less.   I'm not a fan of most politicians.  But ask yourself which of those two would make the better president.  If you think the better president would be the racist scumbag; the unscrupulous businessman; the guy who encourages violence among his supporters; who threatens to sue anyone who disagrees with him- I question your human decency.  Hillary has the experience, knowledge, and temperament to be president.  Trump does not.  A lot of the stuff people don't like about her is made up, distorted, sketchy.  The stuff I don't like about Trump is true, and he says it every day.

 I really don't get it.  He is a demagogue, a charlatan, and a boor.  (I know, those are big words for his followers.)  The people I've seen supporting him are lunatics.  They seem disconnected from reality.  What is it that they think will make him a good president?  He has no experience or qualifications as a politician, statesman, whatever.  They may say he is a good businessman.  He is not.  He is a scam artist.  When he doesn't get his way in a deal, he sues.  If it's a little guy, he tries to take his house.  He's an asshole.  He advocates violence.  None of the qualities I've seen him display are ones I'd want in a president.  If you want someone like that,... well, you already know what I think of you.

I'm glad people stood up to him in Chicago, and made it very clear that he is not welcome.  I hope that happens other places, and I will join in if he comes to my town.  I do worry about what will happen- his supporters are nutbags, and dangerous, and things could get very nasty.  But not standing up to him will make things even worse.

Retreads

Things are getting busy here, and I am going to dig up some old blog posts, and other things I've written, to fill up the next few months.  If I have time and energy I will write new stuff, maybe about diapers and sleep deprivation.  For now, here is an ode to Volkswagens, old and new, that I wrote twenty years ago.




                                  Apologia....why I traded my Bus for a shiny new Fox

     This summer, when the temperature was topping 90 everyday and the world was one of swimming pools, sports, and suntans, I was thinking about winter.  Among other things, I was thinking how cold my trusty 1972 Volkswagen Bus was on a cold winter's night, even after it had "warmed up."  As I stood on the dealer's lot for the tenth time, pondering the decision to give up the Transporter and everything that went with it, the thought of shivering in that box on wheels, squinting at the road through frost that seemed unlikely to melt until springtime, became the deciding factor.  I caved...and drove off the lot in a brand new '93 Fox, the low-end Volkswagen sedan.
     Oh yeah, I miss the Bus.  There's just something about it...maybe that air-cooled, almost-aviation engine sound. The space, too--heck, the stuff I had stashed in the Bus' various hidey-holes filled the entire trunk of the Fox!  All sorts of useful (and useless) items--some of which I still carry around; I hate the thought of not having the right tool or picnic accessory with me.  I miss the grins and giggles and waves and peace signs.  I miss being able to look drive-through restaurant employees in the eye.  I miss not having to worry about just how close I am to that--scrrrrape!--fence.  How could I hurt the Bus?  Now I have to wash and wax and worry.  Before, if it started raining, everyone except me had to rush out and roll their windows up.  Not me...the Bus could take it.  I could haul anything, with no fear of damaging the upholstery (what there was of it).  I hauled quite a few people, moved furniture, carried trash to the dump, even thought about taking a rooster to its new home: hey, it could fly out of a pickup, and the Bus was like a cage on wheels.   If the thing got dirty, I could just hose it out.  And I miss the headroom...driving the Bus was like being in the living room of a small house: everything was within a few steps.  And I'll miss the white: though it was hard to see in the snow, it kept reasonably cool in the summer.  The Fox is an interesting color.  It's "raspberry," a name not calculated to produce respect in most minds.  It's nice, though.  I thought it was just dark red, but in some light it has a purplish cast.
     But I won't miss the freezing temps in winter (that's with the heater on...), or the feeling of running on the ragged edge of the motor vehicle safety laws (the turn signal?  The muffler?  Yes, officer, I'll get right on them.)  I won't miss being nearly blown off the road by semis and crosswinds.  I won't miss blasting the stereo just to hear it over the engine (and my voice activated microcassette recorder was useless, because the noise kept it continuously activated--even when the muffler was intact, the wind noise at 55 was unbelievable.)  I won't miss struggling just to keep an even speed, much less accelerate, on uphill entrance ramps.  It's nice, too, not having to finesse the stick into gear.  Or having to shut the door slowly, so as not to knock the window out of its track and then spend fifteen minutes getting it back in place.
      I always felt bad subjecting others to the severe conditions of the Bus.  Now I have heat and AC and comfortable seats.  Girls say the Fox is cute, and it's much more pleasant and classy to ride in.  'Course, the Bus did have that fold-out queen-size bed in back...
     I'll always miss the Bus.  But, the VW dealer took good care of it, and now it has been sold to another Bus aficionado--friends have seen it tooling around town.  At least I know it has a good home, because after all, who would buy a Bus except someone who loves them?

How To Make America Great Again

Make American Great Again.  It's a slogan, folks, not a policy.  I have heard people say "I don't like him but I agree with his policies."  Trump's specific policies, such as they are, are abhorrent to most people: walls, deportation, roughing people up.  I think they just have some kind of nostalgia for when America was "great," and I want to ask when that was, and what is wrong with the country now.  Not that things are perfect, but it is enlightening to see what people want to change.

Is American not great now?  Not anymore?  Yes, we have issues- but not the kind that a politician can fix.  We have an obsession with reality TV stars (like Trump.)  We have a short attention span, (which aids Trump, because people forget what he said yesterday.)  Ignorance is common and celebrated (which, again, helps Trump, and is fed by people like him.)  In fact, he is everything that is wrong with this country.  Self-centered.  Bigoted.  Greedy.  Ignorant of the world around us, and even of conditions in our country. 

Trump is not a very good businessman, not much of a manager, got most of what he has because of his father, doesn't know about anything except real estate, has a temper, and is full of himself. Just what I look for in a president...

I've said that I think Trump is a plant to make Reps look bad.  But then, apparently the entire Republican caucus exists to make Republicans look bad.  No matter what they do, they're awful.  "Whatever Obama wants, we won't even consider it.  Going to an ice cream social for dessert?  Socialism!"  I don't understand why people vote for them.

Make American Great Again: ignore people like Trump.   And stop watching Fox.

Car Stories

We'll take a little break from politics and baby stuff today, and talk about cars.  Yes, I am a plane nut (wingnut,) but I am also into cars.  Not fullbore, carshow every weekend, muscle car in my garage into them, but still, I like them.  And I build them, but that's another story. 

My tastes are a bit odd.  Until recently I had not owned a single American car; now I have had two.  Well, I had not had cars built in the USA before this most recent one- I had VWs built in Brazil, so they were South American, and a Ford Fiesta built in Mexico, so technically North American...  In terms of what I have owned, VWs are in the majority.  There has been a Honda or two, and may be another in a few years.  Hondas/Toyotas/Nissans are great cars- dependable, economical, utilitarian.  I find them a little boring, though.  I like a car that is fun to drive.  And yes, "real" car guys may not find my choices fun to drive, but within the economy cars I can afford they are still pretty fun choices. 

My first car was a '71 VW Super Beetle.  It was... interesting to drive, if not exactly fun.  I got it for free, and kept it going for a few years during college.  It got me around, got me home for the holidays, and gave me a lot of stories.  Almost getting blown off an overpass.  Overheating while waiting to get into a Dead show.  Spewing washer fluid while I moved the spare tire.  You know, the usual car stories...

Next I had an '81 Honda Civic wagon.  It was bought specifically for a trip around the country with my brother.  Cheap, reliable, economical, and big enough to sleep in if necessary.  It made the trip, and survived several more years until I wrecked it.  It was a good car.  Fun to drive, super cheap, and incredibly practical.

Its replacement was a '72 Bus.  Practical, cheap, and, well, certainly a thrill to drive on the edge.  That is, when I could get it up to speed.  I learned to hate highway entrance ramps that went uphill.  It had even more surface area for crosswinds to push on than the Beetle.  And it had essentially no heat, so plenty of times I drove in full winter gear with a blanket over my legs and a tiny plug-in heater trying to clear the frost on the windshield.   It could be a handful, but it got me to lots of interesting places.  It's the one car I wish I had kept. 

I used the Bus as a trade-in on my first new car, a '93 VW Fox.  It was the cheapest "real" car I could find, with standard AC, a radio, a passenger-side mirror, a full-size spare, and a car payment that strapped me.  It was worth it, though.  Dependable, comfortable, almost stylish, and, yes, fun to drive.  Underpowered at first, till I learned how to make a few mods.  I ran it into the ground after 17 years.  It got me started on Foxes; I have had two since.

The second Fox was a '90, and was lowered.  It was sleek, and handled well, and I still miss it sometimes.  It and its stablemate, a Fox wagon, got me to work and back for years.  If you have an old car, you really need two so that one will be running at least half the time.  I took whichever was running best, and sometimes it was a tossup.  The '90 was great until I hit a deer.  I drove it home that night, but it was never the same again.  When I finally took it to the junkyard they sensed that I needed a few minutes alone with it.  I had some great times with it.  I enjoyed driving it- small, quick, agile.  It and the wagon were a litmus test for Miss Mox, that she passed with flying colors.  She liked them, and still likes the wagon.  One of many things I love about her.

The wagon, an '87, is perhaps the most practical car I've ever had as well as the most fun to drive.  It has been modified with a turbo, better brakes, better suspension, etc., so it can get up and go (for a Fox.)  I keep the rear seat folded down so that it is essentially a large hatchback, and I can haul all kinds of stuff in it; we've even sat back there at drive-in movies.  I don't drive it every day anymore, but I try to take it out for exercise often.

When the Foxes got too iffy for reliable commuting I got a 2013 Ford Fiesta.  A Ford?  After we had a Pinto when I was a kid?  Yes, it was a tough call.  But we had rented one and it was fun to drive (for its category,) it got good reviews, and it was cheap to buy and operate.  It had transmission problems which repeated visits to the dealer could not fix, so eventually it had to go.  The next step would be something like a Focus, staying with Ford, but it had the same tranny.  A Civic, maybe, or a Jetta, but I had driven them and been bored.  I poked around a bit, and ended up with a 2014 Chevy Cruze.  We had rented one and enjoyed it, both for driving fun and for comfort.  And I am getting older, and comfort matters more than it did with air-cooled VWs or even Foxes.  The Cruze is still economical, and I got a good deal on a new-used one.

Next up?  A replacement for Miss Mox's car.  We'll try to wait till the Cruze is paid off, when Lychee is about 3.  The next car will be a little bigger, a bit more practical for a family.  Maybe a Fit, maybe an HR-V, or an Element.  (Honda is at the top of the list.)  Something easier to get a kid and all her stuff in and out of, but still small and economical.

I like to drive, and will keep doing it as long as I can.  I don't know if the wagon will make it till Lychee is ready to learn to drive- and learn how to shift a manual- but I can hope.  I will report on that when the day comes.  Over the next few months, I might post some old writings of mine, about cars and other subjects, since things are likely to be busy.  I'm sure there will be politics, and baby stuff, and who knows what else mixed in.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Valentine's Day

As you might suspect, Miss Mox and I aren't always traditional.  We can be, when we want to be, but we do whatever works for us, not for tradition. 

Today we will probably not be dressing up and going out for a "romantic" dinner.  We will eat well, but it will probably be at home to avoid the crowds.  I won't quite call either of us a misanthrope, but we are not fans of masses of people, and of people being stupid in general.

We might go out, but it will be to someplace really romantic like the library, because that makes our hearts flutter.

There might be flowers, but they won't be the traditional dozen red roses.  Or maybe they will- we do what we want, and sometimes we want that.

There will be candy.  Are you kidding?

There will be a card but it might be pretty goofy.

There will be hugs, and kisses, and sappy gazes.  Just a few.

We will savor this day.  Not because we're only romantic on Valentine's Day- every day is that way for us.  But because every holiday will be different from now on.  Lychee might be an Easter baby, and you know that that holiday, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and all the others are about to change for us.  So we are going to have a quiet Valentine's Day alone together- with four crazy animals and a kicking baby...

The Old Conundrum

"Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil"- Jerry Garcia

Still, it's less evil than the greater evil.  And we all have to make choices.  The older I get, the more I learn that you don't always have the liberty of choosing exactly what you want (and you don't always know ahead of time which one is the better choice- sometimes you just have to choose, and hope.)  All we can do is the best we can, all we can choose is the best option at the time- in life, and politics.  As long as we're moving in the right direction, we'll call that a victory. 

None of the Republican candidates are worthy of the presidency.  They've all shown themselves, in their own particular gruesome ways, to be either unqualified or just plain nasty.  And frankly, the Democrats are little better.  But, and this is a big but: they're still better.  We lost one, O'Malley, so we're really down to two: Clinton and Sanders.  You make the call.  Just remember, the perfect is the enemy of the good.  Sometimes holding out so that you get everything you want just means you lose most of what you want.  To me, Clinton is the best choice to be president.  She is the most experienced of all of them, on both sides.  Good experience, relevant experience, that she has learned from.  And she has the best temperament.  Good God, most of the Republicans scare me- the way they talk and think, we'd be in a nuclear war within weeks.

I'd like to see two reasonable people running: either Sanders or Clinton vs. a Republican who actually knows how to think, not the buffoons the Reps typically put up.  Give us two choices, clear choices, but both of whom are qualified.  I would hope the Republicans will put forward a reasonable candidate.  I'm not getting my hopes up.  A few more of their lunatics drop out each month, but there are some doozies left.  For the good of the country, I'd like to see the contest be between Clinton and Kasich.  Kasich has experience.  Of the Republicans, he is the most reasonable (that's not saying much.)  As governor of my home state he's been, well, up and down.  Some good, some bad, some awful.  But still, he would provide a clear alternative to Clinton, and if he were elected I would be able to sleep better than with, say, Trump in charge.   Between Kasich and Clinton, I'd choose Clinton.  And frankly if either of them won I'd disagree with them sometimes, and agree sometimes.  But I wouldn't worry much about an American version of the Brownshirts rising, as I would with Trump.

Clinton or Sanders, and then Dem vs. Rep.  As another musician said, "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice."

Back and Forth

I am excited about being a dad, and scared.  Am I ready?  Can I protect her?  In this world of threats, of weirdos passing out toys, of "militia" wannabes, can I be sure she will be safe on her walk to school?  Can I give her everything she needs, and teach her well?

Is it selfish that I waited so long to have a kid?  I'm not going to be able to do as much, physically, as I would when I was younger.  I creak when I crouch down now; what about when I'm trying to lift a kid?  And will I be around long enough?  I lost my dad when I was 43, and that still felt too soon.  When she is 43 I will be 91.  I hope to be here, but damn, that is scary.  I will be here, but unable to go whitewater rafting or whatever, even now.  And will we be able to afford to send her to a good school?

There are also lots of things I am looking forward to.  Raising a child with Miss Mox, an amazing woman who will be a great mom.  Seeing Lychee go to school. helping her learn her ABCs, reading to her (which I'm already doing a little bit.)  Finding out what she is interested in, which might mean new experiences for me.  I am eager, and nervous.  And she's almost here- two more months.  I have a lot to learn and do...

Looking Back, And Forward

It's hard to believe Miss Mox and I got married more than two years ago.  Time has flown by.  She recently reposted her write-up of our wedding party, and it was certainly a blast.  Now, we are expecting another member of the family in a few months.  First came love (well, first came like, according to match.com.)  Then came marriage.  Now comes baby in a baby carriage.  In between, there have been lots of trips, shared lazy weekends, snickers about inside jokes we can't reveal, snarky comments about politicians and other bottomfeeders, and kisses.  Miss Mox is holding up well under the strains of pregnancy, but not really enjoying it.  We are waiting to meet Lychee, and wondering what she will be like.  A mix of us, probably, in looks and temperament- though her energy in the womb reminds us of my brother.  And we are learning all we can about pregnancy and childrearing, and watching kids in public for positive and negative examples.

Baby Talk

Pregnancy is weird.   Wonderful and weird, but still weird.  There's a whole 'nother lifeform inside Miss Mox right now- our little baby Lychee (who already has a proper name, but might always be nicknamed after the fruit she approximated at 12 weeks...)  A life inside a life.  Truly bizarre.  Kind of like a parasite in there, and actually, a lot like one- leeching Miss Mox's energy.

My friend, life companion, partner-in-crime is struggling with all the physical changes, and I can empathize but not truly sympathize since I have no remotely similar experience.  I cannot even imagine what it is like.  She certainly wishes I could experience it.  I am going to be a first-time father at an age when many are already grandparents.  We are both kind of clueless about all this.  We keep reading the books and asking friends, and we know there is more craziness coming.  18 more years of it.  As parents-to-be, we are... well, old, and clueless.  Luckily we have friends and family nearby, and some who have had kids recently, for help and advice.  We have learned a lot but have much more to learn. 

We've been going to the doctor a lot, and the pace picks up soon.  I like those visits.  She doesn't.  Blood draws, poking and prodding, weight checks (she has actually lost a little overall; I have gained at least five pounds...)  The tests are coming back mostly fine.   We have our fears, of course.  And not just health-wise- money, college, safety, you name it.   Where will she go to school?  How will the animals react? 

We are getting the nursery ready.  Luckily we had already repainted the top of the walls, above the chair rail.  We were thinking of repainting below... but we will leave it a bit rough, in case Lychee ends up drawing on it.  We have a ton of clothes already, and are gearing up for the baby shower.

We chose Lychee's name over the course of months- tossing out ideas, researching, ruling out some cool names that were already too common or had been used recently in the family.  We wanted something unique but not bizarre.  I wanted something with an aviation reference, or maybe from a Dead song.  We, well, Miss Mox, wanted something that could be shouted down the street and still get the kid's attention...  What we chose has a distant aviation connection in the middle name, and hints at travel in the first.  The middle one also hints at "black and white."  Overall it's a classy name, with history behind it, and is very long.  I was worried it wouldn't fit on government forms.  Hopefully it's not too easy to make fun of, and it is easily shortened so she will be able to say and spell it...

Life is going to get very hectic soon.

Boys And Their Toys, Redux

The Bundys (Cliven and Ammon and Jeptha and whoever, not Al and Peggy) are playing army again.  I have zero respect for these "patriot" "militias," which are neither.  The Bundys are freeloading racist lunatics, who think they don't have to pay grazing fees, and that it's okay to point guns at federal agents.  They've occupied a federal building- that is, our building, yours and mine.  So in addition to cheapskates and scofflaws, they are trespassers and thieves. 

The locals don't want them there.  The criminals they are ostensibly supporting don't want them there.  The tribe the land was stolen from doesn't want them there.  The birdwatchers who frequent the wildlife refuge don't want them there.  And yet they stay.  They say God wants them there, but though I am no theologian I don't think they have a clue what God wants.  Think of what would happen- what has happened- when Natives, or Blacks, or Muslims occupy a building by force and threaten to kill the police.  Just as should happen in those cases, in this case I think we should wait them out, starve them, let them freeze, until they become bored and uncomfortable enough to give up.  Then we should throw the book at them.

I see these idiots waving the flag while attacking this country.  When I see the flag waving I think of what this country stands for: Freedom.  Justice.  The history our country has gone through, the changes the flag has been a part of.  I don't think about people stealing from the government.  Refusing to pay grazing rights, stealing from the rest of us.   Occupying federal buildings.  I do not think of those people as patriots.   I think of them as traitors.  And idiots, since they don't understand this country, or the Constitution.  They should give up and be the responsible individuals they claim to be, by paying their fees, fines, serving jail time, whatever.  I don't want to say much more about them.  They, and their ridiculous beliefs, should fade away.

Boys And Their Toys

I live not far from Cleveland, and have friends there, and have spent time there. I am lucky to live in a town that hasn't yet had problems with police killing children, or unarmed adults. I am trying to wrap my head around why a 12-year-old would be killed in a park by police, even if he was "big for his age," even if he was playing with a toy gun. Hell, even if he was an adult with a real gun, since Ohio is an open-carry state.

Is it appropriate behavior, is it in the police manual, to roll up on somebody and shoot them before you get out of the car? Might it not be safer for everyone, including the cop, to come to a stop near the edge of the park and assess the situation? I get that in some cases you need to react quickly. But if the person- child, actually- is by himself, not threatening anyone, might it make sense to figure out what's going on first? Or is it reasonable to rush, and put yourself in a situation where you might have to kill or be killed? For the last 10 or 20 years, toy guns in the US have been marked with orange, and are supposed to be shaped differently than real gun types. This one looked more realistic; that is, it looked like the ones I used to play with.

I get that police sometimes have to make snap judgements. But when they rush into a situation, and shoot a boy, and then people are falling over themselves to blame the boy? When the cop who shot him has a history of problems? When time after time police in this country shoot black people who are doing nothing wrong, while arresting white people who actually threaten violence, or even kill people? We have a problem. And some insist there is no problem. I worry about my family. I was a kid playing with toy guns once. Does that mean it's okay to shoot me?

Regardless of the race of anybody involved, people should be outraged when something like this happens. That so many are blaming the boy says a lot about how much race still does matter in this country. #BlackLivesMatter was created because of situations just like this. People are people; but not really, not to some people. Some people do not care about anyone who is not like themselves. They look for any kind of excuse to say "he deserved what he got." A white lady with a gun aiming it at police gets arrested. A black kid playing with a gun in a park gets killed. If your 12-year-old son got shot by police in a park, if they drove up without stopping, you'd be okay with it?

Reports from Cleveland, including from people I know who have been in the courtroom with him, indicate that the prosecutor in this case was known to be a scumbag long before this. He did not want to prosecute this case, and so he did not; he acted like a defense attorney for the cops.

What's to stop me from being shot? What's to stop my daughter from being shot? Maybe she's playing in the park with a stick that someone thinks looks like a gun. What's to stop the people who are supposed to protect us from bending the law to protect themselves?