A Question For Conservatives

The Supreme Court will rule on marriage equality soon.  I want to ask people who still oppose gay marriage: Why?  Why do you oppose it?  How do you view marriage?  The arguments before the Court seemed to focus on procreation, and I've seen letters to the editor ranting "It's not about love!" 

Really?  Really?

Modern marriage IS about love.  If you ask people why they married their spouse, if you look at popular culture, if you listen to wedding ceremonies, if you watch people court- it is about love.  If you want to change that, you're the radical.  If it's only about kids... You know, a lot of people do have kids while married.  Many have them outside marriage, or don't have them at all.  The center of the relationship, though, is the other person- supporting them, caring about them, loving them, enjoying being with them.  If you have kids too, great.  If not, great.  Some people can't have kids.  Some bring them into a marriage.  So they're certainly a topic when marriage comes up, but a tangential one, not the central one.  And hey, if having kids is the main thing about marriage for you, fine!  That works- for you.  Actually, if that's the main thing, and loving your partner isn't as important, I feel sorry for you.  If love isn't important to you, I think you will be unhappy.  But do your thing.  What gives you the right to decide what other peoples' marriage should be about?  And how does other people loving each other affect your marriage?  

Strong, loving, committed relationships actually support raising a kid well.  Not just "having a mother and a father," but having people who care about each other and the kids.  If you say you want strong families, and kids raised in a stable environment, then I would think you would be in favor of anything that provides for loving, committed relationships.  There are plenty of gay people who want kids (and plenty of straight people who don't.)  Adoption, artificial insemination, however they do it- a loving couple who really wants a kid is going to do their best to raise it well.  A straight couple who don't like each other but "stay together for the children" are going to do more harm than good.

I don't see any point to the procreation argument.  Another big one is religion- "God invented marriage."  Well... No.  But hey, if you believe that, cool.  Get married in a church.  Follow your religion's guidelines on marriage.  Live by it.  Do not make others live by your religion.  Ask yourself (because I will not ask politely) why you feel the need to force your religion on other people?  Marriages are now sanctioned by the state- your officiant, even if they're a minister, still has to sign the license.

Seriously- tell me why you oppose gay marriage being legal.  In America.  Which is not a Christian nation, or officially religious at all.  Tell me why you feel the need to impose your belief that marriage should be loveless and religious on others.  Because it sounds to me an awful lot like you want a theocracy with women being baby factories. 

Turning Their Backs On Progress

I feel like we're living in the Dark Ages.  You would think that society would progress, that we would accumulate knowledge and move forward from that base.  We wouldn't have to refight these arguments about birth control, racism, women's rights, etc.  Instead, we (generally I mean us as a country,  not the world as a whole) have ended up at a place where many of us don't know what happened in the past.  And don't care.  We aren't learning from what happened yesterday, much less what happened ten or a hundred years ago.  So we're losing that institutional knowledge that might be passed on.  So we're starting from scratch- it seems like every individual has to start from scratch, isn't learning from history or from those around them.

Instead of saying "well, my grandparents were very racist, my parents were somewhat racist, and I'm a little racist," we go back to square one and there are racist idiots everywhere.  We have to start all over, and teach each person how to be decent.  So we're not advancing as a society, we're not making progress.  We're regressing.

I, of course, mostly blame conservatives.  Sure, there are a few liberals that contribute to the lack of progress, but it's mostly conservatives.  The willful ignorance about history and current events comes from the conservative camp.  And in fact, many of them actually want to move the country back, so that makes sense.  They look back and see that things were better, for them at least, and ignore how much worse things were for others, and even in other ways for themselves.  It's disheartening.

Who Would Vote For These Jerks?

Which of the Republican candidates actually think they can win a general election?  Does Rafael Cruz really think he can win nationwide? Santorum?  Do any of the others think they can?  Are they trying to persuade people to vote for them?  I mean, I know they are, or think they are, but are they trying to persuade anybody who isn't radical, right-wing, racist, or any other r-words? 

Are they really trying to persuade people who actually think about things, who are actually persuadable and haven't already decided?  Republicans say "we need to appeal to independents, to minorities."  "Why don't blacks and latinos vote for us?"  Do something to make them think you're not total assholes.  Persuade them.

I'm persuadable.  I'm a moderate.  I don't look like one to most people because conservatives have moved so far to the right that Reagan and Goldwater look like socialists.   I'm left-leaning, definitely, and in this election, with the presumed candidates already pretty clear, I'm pretty sure who I'm voting for.  But I've voted for Republicans in local elections.  I actually look at the individual, try to figure out who would be best for a position.  But I look at the Republican candidates for president (and most others locally and nationally) and see lunatics.   They're far-right, appealing to "the base,'* not trying to win people over but just to panic enough of their followers to get to the polls.  They've written off everybody else.   If you want people to vote for you, you need to be reasonable, and not divisive.  Oh, they call Obama divisive because they don't like him.   But Cruz is purposefully divisive, talking about the dreaded gays, etc.  Do you really think that's going to persuade not just gay people, but others who value civil rights, to vote for you?  Really? 

Do Republicans really think that's the way to win?  Not to mention the way to be decent citizens, or even decent human beings?  Like I said, you could persuade me to vote for you even if I'm not conservative. But you gotta try.



*And does it seem ironic to anyone else that when conservatives talk about rallying "the base" it reminds me that that is the meaning of "al qaeda"?

Mother Knows Best

I hope you're all calling your mothers today.  I will be, if I can get hold of her at the beach.  Also, tomorrow is her birthday; makes it easy to remember, always being close to Mother's Day.  It's a milestone birthday too, although I won't say which one.  I will say she has a grandson, my nephew, which puts her between 40 and 140.  And don't ask for more grandkids, Mom- my mother-in-law is already asking often enough...

As you can tell by her being at the beach, Mom gets out and does what she wants.  She's not rich, but she finds a way to travel (and has been quite a few cool places lately.)  And my MIL, Mama Mox, has a birthday soon too, and still has lots of little kids in the house.  She and Miss Mox are workout buddies, and the kids give her a workout too.

Mothers are there from the start, and often our best friends.  They're always there for you, whether you know it or not.  And they're always looking out for you.  When you're a teenager and think you know better, you probably don't.  When you get old enough that you're on your own, they're still there to help even if you don't think you need it.  I have to admit that, over the years, Mom has usually been right when she has told me what to do, or given me advice.  Family is important to me, and to Miss Mox, and we are lucky to have such great parents and family in general.  We'll be seeing both our mothers soon, and wishing them a relaxing day today.

Homefront

Despite all the political rants I post here- because ignorant, heartless, hypocritical people piss me off- I am generally a happy guy.  I am very lucky, and I know it and am very thankful for it.  I know not everybody has even part of what I do.  I have an interesting job, a nice house, I'm able to travel, cuddle with crazy and loveable animals, I have lots to read and good stuff to eat... everything I need to be happy.  And a life partner who makes all that even better.  Miss Mox is a smart, lovely smart-ass, a reader and blogger, an animal lover, fellow foodie, my supporter and co-conspirator.

She is taking some time off from the rat race, in order to decompress and get her new business up and running.  We call her the "hot housewife"- she's technically, temporarily, a housewife, and she is most definitely hot.  And somehow, it seems like she's busier now than when she was working full-time.  She hasn't been sitting around.  Between planning for the business and doing stuff around the house and yard, taking trips, going to concerts, going to family events for both of our families, she's been very busy.

There are plenty of advantages, for her and for me.  The animals aren't alone as long during the day.  I've been eating better, mainly because she's been cooking more.  She's a great cook and knows how to make healthy stuff taste good.  And we get to spend time together, wake up and fall asleep together, talk about what our days were like.  With our offset work schedules before we barely had time for a kiss in the morning and at night, and often one of us was asleep.  What I missed most was catching up, relaxing and sharing our stories of the day.  Now we can talk, get stuff done, have lunch, relax, whatever.

I know it's better for her- much less stressful than that job was.  She'll probably get another one eventually, but she'll have more freedom to pick what she does, and time to get her dream venture off the ground.  We're lucky to be in a place where we can get by on a reduced income.  We can coast for awhile, and get caught up around here and with each other.  I like seeing her.  I like hanging out with her.  She's kinda special to me.

It's spring, verging on summer, and there is a lot to do, and lots to enjoy.  The other night we saw Pat Benatar, who put on a really good show.  We have other concerts and trips coming up.  We had our first house-guest last week.  We've already started putting things in the garden.  Friends, family, animals, and each other- we have it all.