I've been pretty busy, and though I am working on a few ideas none are ready.  But I wrote something recently about the ongoing birther movement, so here's a Cliff's Notes version of how I saw the Obama birth certificate issue play out.  Here's how it went:


He's got a foreign name!
So?

Well, his dad's a foreigner.  He can't be president!
His mom's American, so he's a citizen.

Well, he was born before Hawaii became a state so he's not a natural-born citizen!
No, Hawaii was a state by then.

Fine, lemme see his birth certificate.
Here it is.

Wait, it says "certificate of live birth" not "birth certificate!"  It's a fake!
Um, I was born in Ohio, and mine says "certificate of live birth."  What is your problem?

He's not allowed to be president, I tell you!  Look, this says he was born in Kenya!
It's a hoax.  It's an altered Australian birth certificate.  See, here's the guy whose form was altered.

Fine.  But he only showed his short-form birth certificate.  Let's see the long form.
Okay, here it is.  Also birth announcements from the local paper, and a statement from the nurse who helped deliver him. Satisfied?

No!  It might be a fake!  A sheriff in Arizona who's under investigation says so!

And so on... it never ends.  There's no satisfying conspiracy theorists.  Maybe- maybe!- scrutiny was justified, up to the release of the short-form birth certificate.  But after that, it's BS.  And what, pray tell, is Romney going to do to prove he is a natural-born citizen?  'Cause a birth certificate ain't gonna do it for me, not after all this...