I've been out of the country, and so haven't posted much lately.  (What has gone up has been pre-loaded.)  I have a lot of things I want to write, but haven't been able to focus my mind enough to actually get them down.  Because last week on my way back to the US, I lost one of my first readers.  My friend.  My brother.

He was my younger brother, which means he left far, far too soon.  He was in many ways more mature than me, more together.  He had done many things before me- start a business, have a kid, get divorced. He had been through a lot more turmoil than me.  He was very spiritual, very down to earth, very perceptive.  I can only hope I turn out to be as good a person as he was.

We had a memorial service for him, and people from all aspects of his life came.  High school friends, family, students, 12-steppers.  He was very into Al-Anon, and I thought of it as his support group, as group therapy.  He was more into church than me (Unitarian church, which to some barely counts, but still.)  He was very into Native culture and spirituality.  I went to all those things with him sometimes, but was never as into them.  For him, though, they were vitally important.

I miss him.  I find myself wanting to ask him questions, and realizing I'll never be able to do that again.  I miss his comments on here, and discussions we've had about politics and all sorts of topics.  I'm glad for the time we had together, but angry that we won't have any more.  The last time I saw him we had a blast, and so I can remember him that way.  But little things keep reminding me of him, and that he's gone.

He has a son, and I was just coming to grips with being an uncle.  And now that little boy needs me, and everyone around him, more than ever.  He needs stability and love. He needs to know, someday, what his dad was like.

Go vote!

"We in America do not have government by the majority- we have government by the majority who participate...  All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent."-- Thomas Jefferson